→ Overview of all interviews with private Femdoms.
New to the topic? → Femdom Guide & BDSM Guide.
Many women are curious about becoming a Mistress — but how does it actually work? In this interview, private Femdom K. speaks openly and personally about her entry into the world of Femdom. She shares how curiosity and initial questions turned into a fulfilling role as a Mistress, and she offers concrete tips and guidance for beginners.
Lady Sas: Dear Mistress K., how did it happen that you are now training a sub as a Femdom?
Mistress K.: I met a man through an online platform who had “switcher” in his profile. He clearly expressed that he wanted to explore his submissive side again, and that’s when I started looking into the topic. I quickly found myself drawn to the idea of being a Femdom. That led to our first sessions, and I truly love being his Mistress — training my little sub and playing with him.
Lady Sas: What were the burning questions you had when you first started exploring Femdom?
Mistress K.: Oh wow — since I really had no idea about this topic at all, I had so many questions in my head. How to project dominance was a big one: how do I present myself as a Mistress, what different “styles” or dynamics exist…
Mistress K. on what it feels like becoming a Femdom
Lady Sas: Which of my books helped you most on your journey? What was helpful on the website? What’s missing?
Mistress K.: Definitely Femdom Academy 1 and 2 — incredibly helpful. Also the tips & guides on your site, “Tease and Denial” is super exciting and one of my favorite games with my little sub. I keep coming back to your site whenever I need fresh inspiration. And the “200 Ideas for BDSM Sessions” are amazing too!
Lady Sas: How does it feel now to be a Femdom? Is it something you would recommend to other women?
Mistress K.: How does it feel? Really, really good. My little sub adores me, worships me — there’s no need to beg for attention. I love playing with him, giving him tasks, and seeing his pure gratitude. And for me, it’s a huge boost in pleasure, because I am the Mistress, and first and foremost, my sub’s role is to take care of my pleasure. I never expected it to develop like this, but it brings me great joy. That said, of course it’s also work for the Mistress: planning sessions, making decisions, staying consistent, guiding the sub’s training. As a Mistress, you always carry responsibility — and you need to be aware of that.
And yes! I would absolutely recommend that other women at least try it. Every woman deserves that kind of devotion!
I would recommend that other women at least try it. Every woman deserves that kind of devotion!
Mistress K.
Tips for women who also want to become a Mistress
Lady Sas: What image of a Mistress did you have in mind when you knew very little about Femdom?
Mistress K.: Like most people, probably the classic Domme — leather, latex, whip 😉 And sure, it can look like that too, but in the end it’s all about presence and energy. Clothing can support that, but it’s not everything.
Lady Sas: Do you have any advice for women who are just starting out as Femdoms and want to become Mistresses?
Mistress K.: Read your books ;.) and TALK!! Communication with your sub is extremely important. Trust must be there, and you need to communicate openly and honestly. In one book I read this sentence (sadly I don’t remember which one): Submission is a gift, born of strength, nourished by trust, sustained through respect and appreciation. And that really sums it up for me. Showing devotion is not weakness — quite the opposite. And I truly admire my little sub for the strength it takes to live this with me (though maybe he shouldn’t know that 😉 ).
Lady Sas: What’s next in your personal development?
Mistress K.: My sub and I will be attending a flogger workshop and a bondage workshop together. We’re also planning to attend a Femdom party soon. I’m really excited to see what’s still ahead!
Lady Sas: Thank you for the interview.
Start your Femdom journey here
If you want to learn how to become a Femdom with confidence and structure, Femdom Academy 1 gives you a clear, grounded starting point. From mindset and communication to responsibility and leadership.
If you already have experience, you’ll find more advanced guides and real-life Femdom stories here that go deeper into dynamics, training, and long-term leadership.
More: Private Femdom Interviews:
FLR Marriage: Real-Life Interview with Lady Sandra
Interview with Private Mistress Lady N. from Lower Saxony
Cuckold Couple Troi in Interview
Who writes on Lady-Sas.com?
Hi, we’re Lady Sas and Lady Victoria—real-life Femdoms from Frankfurt, Germany, and authors of guides on Femdom, FLR, chastity, and BDSM.
Our interviews and how-tos empower women to own their dominance and help subs embrace their role.
Never miss a post again. Sign up for our newsletter.
FAQs
How does becoming a Femdom usually begin?
Becoming a Femdom often starts with curiosity and an open mind. Many women first encounter the topic through conversations, online platforms, or personal connections. As described in this interview, interest can quickly turn into a fulfilling role once trust, communication, and exploration come together.
Do you need prior experience to become a Mistress?
No prior experience is required. Many Femdoms begin without any clear roadmap and learn along the way. Reading guides, reflecting on personal boundaries, and taking time to understand dominance are often more important than previous practice.
Is Femdom mainly about clothing and appearance?
Clothing can support a dominant presence, but it is not essential. As Mistress K. explains, real dominance comes from confidence, clarity, and energy. Outfits may enhance the role, but they do not define it.
What role does communication play in Femdom?
Communication is central to Femdom dynamics. Open discussions about desires, limits, expectations, and responsibilities help build trust. Honest communication creates safety and allows both partners to grow within their roles.
Is being a Femdom only about pleasure, or also about responsibility?
Femdom always involves both pleasure and responsibility. Alongside enjoyment and power exchange, a Mistress takes responsibility for structure, decision-making, and the emotional well-being of her sub. This awareness is an important part of the role.
Can any woman learn to become a Femdom?
Many women have dominant qualities, even if they have not yet explored them. Femdom is not a fixed personality type but a process of learning and self-discovery. With curiosity, reflection, and willingness to grow, each woman can find her own path.