FLR – Female Led Relationship Book

Reading sample from our Female Led Relationship Book:

Note: This Female Led Relationship book is about informed, consensual forms of modern sexuality.

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A man who subordinates himself in an FLR does so voluntarily and because he likes it. In most cases, an FLR is led by a couple who have a preference for BDSM, i.e. a mistress and a sub. But that doesn’t have to be the case. An FLR can also exist and be happy without SM. Only the shift in power is necessary. The two partners are not on an equal footing and do not have equal rights, but have agreed that the woman is in charge.

“What makes an FLR? 
In short: She is the boss.”
 – Lady Kathrin

However, an FLR should not be confused with a relationship that looks like a constant S&M session in which the woman is permanently dressed up as a stylish mistress in high heels, wearing a sexy fetish outfit and strutting around the household with a crop in her hand, arousing and entertaining the sub with hot games. Sorry, dear men, an FLR is not a long-term session.

“We met at a kinky party, played together, fell in love and then finally moved in together as lovers. We have an FLR because it suits us both. It’s just the way we are. But it’s not like we’re always dressed up in fetish outfits and behaving like that, like in an S&M session. That would be far too exhausting for us. As a rule, we lead a completely normal life together. With the important difference that I actually decide what couples usually decide together. I lead my life in such a way that both of us are happy with it. Well, especially me, of course.”
 – Lady Kathrin

“I think every woman has to find her own form of FLR and shape it the way she wants to. I, for example, would feel uncomfortable if I only enforced my own wishes and ideas. I don’t want to be a tyrant. A queen and autocrat yes, but one who also has an ear for her sub. I involve my sub in important decisions by listening to what he wants or likes. In the end, I decide, but this decision is never made alone.”
– Mistress Lena

There is no binding law that regulates how an FLR must be lived. This book is not intended to dictate to anyone either. It is more about informing yourself and being inspired and then deciding for yourself on this basis which rules you feel comfortable with. Rules are important in an FLR. They are, so to speak, the rules of the game and guidelines that should contribute to a happy relationship. Without rules, chaos would reign and misunderstandings would quickly arise. Arguments would be inevitable. Rules are essential for a functioning relationship.

“Happy wife, happy life. I made a conscious decision to have an FLR because it suits my nature. In the beginning, we still had SM sessions very, very often. Since we’ve had small children, it’s honestly taken a back seat. Now everything in our lives revolves around the kids, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, we have kept our FLR the same. My wife decides and leads and I do my best to do my bit to make it work. My wife decides who does what and that’s how we do it. It works and I think we’re both doing very well with it.”
– Harald

Harald’s quote makes it clear that an FLR offers advantages for both sides if it is conducted amicably. It is important to us to make clear the possible range that an FLR can have. To this end, we have divided the FLR into 10 possible facets, which we will present below. These 10 facets are just examples. Each couple can design their FLR individually as they wish. The 10 facets are intended to illustrate what is possible, for example.

FLR characteristic number 1:

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