Interview with Private Mistress Lady N. from Lower Saxony

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“Private Mistress looking for her personal sub. No financial interest” – many slaves dream of exactly that kind of ad. Admittedly, you don’t see something like that often. But such Femdoms do exist. A great example is the private Mistress Lady N. And it gets even better: Lady N. is not only naturally dominant, she is also stunningly beautiful, intelligent, and inspiring. “I love poetry, music, dance, and aesthetics,” the attractive blonde from Lower Saxony, Germany, says about herself.

But what exactly is Lady N. looking for? She says:

“People who touch me. Whether that becomes a friendship, a play relationship, a dance partner, a cuckold dynamic, a club visit, or something else, I leave open. For one man I might want to be the one and his queen, and with another I might simply want to write, dance, or exchange thoughts.”

I recently came into contact with Lady N. and I’m delighted she agreed to share more about herself in this interview. Here it is.

Meet the private Mistress Lady N.

Lady Sas: How did you first come into contact with BDSM? How did everything start for you?

Lady N.: At some point I told my ex that I wanted to switch roles (meaning I wanted to penetrate him anally). His response was that I must be out of my mind. He wasn’t gay or submissive. Today I can only laugh about that. Later I had the pleasure of meeting a real Dominatrix. Her stories really got me hooked. From then on everything developed very quickly. I was lucky to meet the right people who took me under their wing — and volunteers I could practice on. I also devoured many of your books, which helped me progress (including Sklaventraining Vol. 1 and 2). Thank you to everyone involved!

Lady Sas: Did you have to overcome obstacles on your path to becoming a Femdom?

Lady N.: I think this phase is simply part of the journey. Men who claimed that I’m only dominant because I never met a man who could “properly lead me” or “fuck me properly.” Self-doubt about whether I was doing things “right” (and now I know there is no right or wrong BDSM). And at first I had difficulties accepting that I am also slightly sadistic.

“I love the feeling of power”, say the private Mistress Lady N.

Lady Sas: What excites you about dominating a man?

Lady N.: I love the feeling of power. The thrill of doing whatever I want and seeing that he enjoys it — that’s incredible. His trust and devotion also honor me deeply. I find BDSM relationships much more intense than vanilla ones.

Lady Sas: Can you imagine dominating more than one man?

Lady N.: I can imagine a lot, yes (laughs). But sooner or later I would probably end up with something like a favorite slave. Many men, often for time-related reasons, can only participate as a second sub or second slave anyway.

Lady Sas: Let’s dream: What would the perfect relationship constellation look like for you?

Lady N.: I would have an FLR relationship with my husband-slave and cuckold, who would also be bi. From time to time I’d enjoy a lover. I would also have a bi slave girl and at least one paypig. We would all get along, throw wild parties, and be happy together without jealousy.

Lady Sas: What are the most common mistakes you see in applicants or admirers?

Lady N.: It already starts with the greeting: “Hey sexy…” Then it continues with “I like, I want, I’m looking for…” and ends with insults if I don’t reply or don’t reply immediately. Dear men, read the profile carefully first, then think about why you of all people might be interesting to me, and please respond to my profile, my preferences, and my desires.

“Dear men, read the profile carefully” – Private Mistress Lady N.

Lady Sas: Could you imagine entering a 24/7 relationship?

Lady N.: Not from the beginning. I think something like that has to develop. Also, for a 24/7 dynamic, you have to live together. So yes, eventually, with the right man, I can imagine it.

Lady Sas: At which parties could someone meet you?

Lady N.: Since I live pretty far north, the best BDSM club here is probably Catonium in Hamburg. My favorite events are CFNM and Femdom parties.

Lady Sas: What are your plans for the future?

Lady N.: I will continue to gain experience, because I don’t think any Femdom can say she has experienced everything. I will keep looking for the perfect slave like your Toytoy, and I will never forget the responsibility a Femdom has toward her subs and slaves.

Lady Sas: Well, I strongly doubt Toytoy is really such a perfect slave (smiles). But thank you for the lovely compliment, and thank you for the interview.

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FAQ Private Mistress Lady N

What does a private Femdom like Lady N. truly look for in a sub?

She looks for people who move her emotionally, aesthetically, and personally. Whether it becomes a friendship, a play dynamic, a dance partner, a cuckold relationship, or simply an inspiring exchange is open. She does not seek a “role,” but a genuine connection.

Which qualities make a man interesting to Lady N.?

It matters that he read her profile, thought about it, and writes a respectful, personalized message. Men who only talk about their own desires turn her off. Devotion, maturity, depth, and mindfulness are attractive to her.

How does one write a good first message to a private Mistress?

A good message shows that you understood her profile and address her as a person. No one-liners, no harassment. A brief introduction, an authentic thought, and politeness are enough.

What common mistakes do men make when applying to a Femdom?

Many start with “Hey sweetie” or talk only about what they want. Others get offended when there’s no quick reply. Messages that are impersonal, impolite, or overly intimate are disappointing to her.

Can Lady N. imagine a 24/7 relationship?

Yes, but not right away. For her, a 24/7 dynamic must develop naturally. Living together, trust, everyday compatibility, and closeness are essential.

What excites Lady N. about dominating men?

She loves the feeling of power, the freedom to do what she wants, and the thrill of seeing that he enjoys it. BDSM is more intense, honest, and deep for her than a classic relationship. Trust and devotion are central.

What role does trust play in a BDSM relationship?

Trust is the foundation of every dynamic. A sub offers her something precious when he submits, and she takes this responsibility seriously. She respects boundaries and the sub’s needs.

What is Lady N.’s ideal relationship constellation?

Her dream model includes an FLR relationship with a husband-slave and cuckold who is bi, occasional lovers, a bi slave girl, and at least one paypig. Everyone gets along, celebrates together, and enjoys a jealousy-free dynamic.

Which experiences shaped her path as a Femdom?

She had to deal with prejudice, self-doubt, and rejection — including men saying she was only dominant because she hadn’t met a “real man.” A true Dominatrix and supportive people helped her grow into her identity as a Femdom.

Where can you most likely meet Lady N. at BDSM events?

Since she lives in the north, she attends events at Catonium in Hamburg. She especially enjoys CFNM and Femdom parties.

Who’s writing here?

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