New to the world of submission? This BDSM Submissive Hub brings together everything you need as a (future) sub in BDSM and femdom: clear guides, step-by-step training resources, real-life interviews and advanced topics like FLR, cuckolding, chastity and sissification.
Start with the basics, then dive into the areas that speak to you most.
New to femdom and BDSM? Start here: Femdom Guide, BDSM Guide and Lady Sas Femdom Library.
BDSM Submissive – start with the essentials
If you are wondering what it really means to be a sub, this is your starting point. Our main guide explains the definition of a sub in BDSM, the psychology of submission, different types of subs, safety, communication, subspace and more.
- Main guide: What is a sub in BDSM? – definition, types, psychology and tips
→ Sub: What Is a Sub in BDSM? Definition, Types, and Tips for Submission - Pleasure pain & impact play – how your body processes pain in BDSM
→ Pleasure Pain in Impact Play - Female-led relationships (FLR) – when dominance shapes everyday life
→ Female-Led Relationship Guide
Train your submission – Books and programs for subs
You want more than theory and are ready for structure, tasks and real change? These training books and programs help every BDSM Submissive grow into the role step by step.
- Slave Training 1 – 14 days of education with tasks
→ Slave Training Book by Lady Sas - Slave Training 2 – advanced education for ambitious subs
→ Slave Training 2 Book by Lady Sas - Femdom Academy – BDSM course for Mistresses & subs
→ Femdom Academy (BDSM Course) (falls du diese URL noch anpassen möchtest, bitte ändern) - FLR – Female-Led Relationship – when your Mistress also leads everyday life
→ FLR – Female-Led Relationship Guide
Choose the intensity that fits your life. You can start with Slave Training 1 and then continue with Slave Training 2 or combine your training with an FLR concept.
Tip for ambitious subs: Treat these books like a real course. Take notes, track your tasks, and review your progress every few weeks.
Real-life subs in BDSM – Interviews and profiles
Theory is good – hearing from real subs is even better. These interviews and profiles show how submissive men and women actually live their dynamics, including contracts, rituals and emotional challenges.
- Profile of slave Toytoy with slave contract
→ Slave Toytoy – Profile with slave contract - Sub jO – escort sub and part of the Lady Sas team
→ sub jO – Escort Sub - More international interviews – Mistresses and BDSM Submissives share their experiences
→ International Dominatrix Interviews
→ German Dominatrix interviews (EN)
Advanced topics for BDSM submissives
Once you understand the basics and have some experience, you may feel drawn to specific advanced dynamics. Here you will find deep-dive guides on typical themes many subs explore.
- Tease and Denial – erotic control without release
→ Tease and Denial Guide - Cuckolding – when your Mistress is with other men
→ Cuckolding Guide - Femdom and FLR in everyday relationships – structure beyond the bedroom
→ Female-Led Relationship Guide
Not every BDSM Submissive will enjoy every topic – and that is perfectly fine. Use these guides as inspiration to find what truly fits you.
Safety, consent and boundaries for subs
No matter how deep your submission goes – your safety, your limits and your consent always come first. These principles are non-negotiable and make the difference between healthy BDSM and abuse.
- Learn to know and communicate your limits – hard limits are sacred.
- Agree on safewords before you play and use them when needed.
- Take time to get to know a Dom or Mistress before intense scenes.
- Educate yourself about risks, especially with pain, bondage and psychological play.
- Walk away from anyone who ignores or pushes your boundaries.
For a deeper understanding of these topics, read the safety section in our main guide: What is a sub in BDSM?
Stay in touch – Inner Circle Newsletter for subs
Ready to take your submission to the next level? Sign up for the Inner Circle Newsletter in English and receive new interviews, guides and training ideas for subs directly in your inbox.
Sub, be shaped and challenged.
Experience your personal 14-day program of submission, discipline, and devotion. In this exceptional, interactive training, Lady Sas guides you step by step into your new role as a slave—with daily tasks, rituals, and psychological insights.
Learn what real Femdom training means. Let yourself be shaped into a sub. And intentionally increase your chances of being allowed to serve a private Mistress long-term at her feet. Rated ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon (7 ratings).
Continue your training on a higher level. Private Femdom Lady Sas explains in this book how you can win over even the most demanding Mistresses. Develop into a valuable sub. Rated ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 out of 5 stars on Amazon (1 rating).
Who’s writing here?
Hi, we are Lady Sas and Lady Victoria, two private Femdoms from Frankfurt am Main. We are experts and authors on the topics of Femdom, BDSM, FLR, cuckolding, chastity, and sissification.
With Lady-Sas.com, we want to encourage private women to discover their dominance and live out their desires. We also want to encourage submissive men to feel comfortable in their role.
→ Femdom Library → BDSM Guide → Tease and Denial Guide
FAQs BDSM Submissive
What does “BDSM submissive” actually mean?
A BDSM submissive is a person who voluntarily takes the receiving, following and surrendered role within a consensual power-exchange dynamic. They hand over a defined amount of control to a dominant partner and experience fulfillment, structure or erotic intensity through obedience and service.
Is being a BDSM submissive a sign of weakness?
No. Submission requires strength, trust and self-knowledge. Many BDSM submissives are responsible, successful people in everyday life and experience submission as a place to let go, recharge and express a deeper part of themselves.
What types of BDSM submissives are there?
Common types include service-oriented subs, masochists, brats, degradee subs who enjoy consensual humiliation, pet subs in pet play, and rope bunnies who love bondage. Most submissives embody several of these aspects at the same time.
How do I know if I might be submissive?
Typical signs include being aroused by giving up control, enjoying following instructions, fantasizing about dominance or punishment, feeling safe when guided by a partner, and experiencing fulfillment when serving or pleasing someone.
Can someone be both dominant and submissive?
Yes. People who enjoy both roles are called switches. Depending on partner and situation, they may dominate in one dynamic and submit in another.
Do BDSM submissives always have to obey?
No. Obedience is part of the erotic game, not a real-life obligation. A submissive always has the right to refuse, use a safeword or end a scene. Healthy dominance always respects boundaries.
What safety rules should BDSM submissives follow?
Submissives should know and communicate hard and soft limits, agree on safewords before play, choose their dominant partner carefully, educate themselves about risks, and walk away from anyone who pressures or disrespects boundaries.
What is subspace and why do submissives talk about it?
Subspace is an altered, trance-like state caused by endorphins and adrenaline during intense BDSM play. Submissives may feel floaty, euphoric or detached from time. Because this state reduces awareness, the dominant must monitor safety closely and provide proper aftercare afterward.
Is BDSM submission compatible with feminism?
Yes. Feminism is about self-determination. When a person freely chooses consensual submission, without coercion, it is fully compatible with feminist values. Chosen submission can be empowering; forced submission is never acceptable.