Domina Vilma Vallaton is at home in Finland, more precisely in Helsinki. Finland, we all know, is a country rich in beautiful, awesome nature. What we don’t know is how the Finns feel about BDSM and femdom. I am therefore very pleased that the beautiful and stunning Domina Vilma Vallaton has taken the time for an interview. Enjoy.
Lady Sas: Dear Domina Vilma, how did you become a Dominatrix?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: There are two stories to how I became a Domina: the practical and the psychological.
On the practical side, the idea came to me when I organized sex and kink positive events for friends and myself. Fulfilling each other’s fantasies was fun but it often felt like service topping. So I got thinking why wouldn’t I make a service out of this. A couple of years later I met a nowadays colleague of mine who asked me whether I would like to work in the field. She had the contacts, the experience and a network of sex workers around her. So of course, I said yes. In twelve months, I learned about the best practices, got to know a bunch of wonderful Domina’s, explored my own professional style and after gathering enough courage and knowledge, I opened my own studio.
On the psychological side, the story is more complicated. I am a soft, people pleasing and loving person who likes to do wicked, freaky, non-normative stuff. Finding a way to combine my feminine softness with my darker desires was difficult because I had to get rid of the idea of what a Domina “should” be like. For me, questioning everything was the only way I could find my own voice and way of doing. Even today I do regular self-evaluation and thus from the psychological point of view I have not ‘become a Dominatrix’. For me, being a Domina is something that is always evolving.
Domina Vilma Vallaton from Finland
Lady Sas: What excites you about BDSM and training slaves?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: As a service provider, I think of the people who come to me as customers, not slaves. Working as a Domina is about learning of people’s desires and using that information to create an immersive BDSM and fetish performances for a one-person audience. In sessions, I’m fulfilling my customers’ desires and my own joy comes from being a creative BDSM and fetish artist.
As a Domina in sessions, I enjoy it when I’m being pleased and obeyed without questioning. Bratting and defiance is something I don’t tolerate. When a slave decides to surrender to me, I expect them to do fully for the time we share together.
In BDSM I enjoy playing with contrasts: turning something pleasurable into a torment, making my customer feel the joy that pain can bring, whispering the sweetest words to their ear while my hands do the work of the devil. In general, pushing boundaries and doing things we are “not supposed to do” have always been my number one kink. I love to learn about different fetishes and fantasies, and seeing a spark of joy or fear in my customers’ eye is what keeps me going.
As a Domina in sessions, I enjoy it when I’m being pleased and obeyed without questioning.
Domina Vilma Vallaton
Lady Sas: You’re based in the south of Finland. Is the society in Finland open to Femdom BDSM? Is there a SM scene?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: During the past years, the Finnish national news media, marketing, culture field and society in general has had a growing interest in the sex positive lifestyle including polyamory and BDSM. I think this is partly thanks to the good, educating job that Studio Velvet (a collective of 12 BDSM professional) has been doing in the kinky scene.
In general, the SM community in Finland is quite large with different subgroups for queers, kinky swingers, cis people, fetishist, shibari enthusiasts and so on. All of the bigger cities in Finland have a playroom or a dungeon, several events each months and different volunteer organizations that people can join to find like-minded kinksters.
The Mistress about German BDSM
Lady Sas: What do you think about German BDSM?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: I have visited Berlin, Hamburg, Köln and Frankfurt, and everywhere I go I try to find new connections, meet new people and learn about the local kinky scene. In my experience, the German BDSM community is widespread, versatile and welcoming. There’s a bigger variety in ways of doing and expressing and living this lifestyle, and this is something I wish to learn more of during my future travels in Germany.
In my experience, the German BDSM community is widespread, versatile and welcoming.
Domina Vilma Vallaton
Lady Sas: What inspires you? How do you come up with new ideas for sessions?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: I have a strong background in theater, dance and singing. Improvisation is something that I love and that gives me a change to create something truly unique in every session. I draw inspiration from my customer’s reactions and wishes, and from my own mood and feeling.
Having discussions with my colleagues and doing sessions together is also an important source of inspiration. Everyone has their own way of doing and seeing other Dominas in their work flow is great priviledge that always gives me so many new ideas.
Domina Vilma Vallaton about free time and her plans for the future
Lady Sas: Please give us a glimpse into your free time. What do you do when you’re not swinging the whip?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: On my free time, I study and teach shibari. I’m also into sailing, cultural stuff and cooking, and of course spending time with the people most dear to me.
Lady Sas: What are your plans for the future?
Domina Vilma Vallaton: I love my job as a Domina and currently (2023) it is my main source of income. To prevent me from getting bored of this job and seeing it only as a job, I’m studying to become a massage therapist. After graduating, the plan is to balance these two professions in a way that preserves my love and excitem.
Lady Sas: Thank you very much.
„Working as a Domina is about learning of people’s desires and using that information to create an immersive BDSM and fetish performances for a one-person audience.“
Exquisite! That is such a fascinating way to look at it <3