Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck is actually from the Netherlands, but lives happily in Barcelona, Spain. In this interview, the beautiful blonde Dominatrix provides insights into her life and talks about how society in Spain deals with the topic of Femdom BDSM. Good news in advance: In the last six months two new BDSM clubs have opened in Barcelona city. Discover more.
Lady Sas: Dear Nicole, please describe us how you became a Dominatrix.
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck:
The short story is: Whilst I was living in Ibiza a friend said to Me: “you should go and visit Lady Karla in Barcelona, She has a dungeon and a BDSM shop.”
The longer version is: I had recently (like 6 months before) “discovered” BDSM in My private life and was soaking up all that I could, which wasn’t that much, since internet was still very slow and limited.
So We set a date and I took a trip to the mainland of Spain and went to see Her, with no other intentions then learning more about BDSM, buying some gear and a few books study deep My new-found hobby.
To My big surprise during that get-together She said: “I see something in you, would you like to come and work here with Me? I will train you.”
And as I am always up for the craziest proposals, I took that offer.
That was over 18 years ago now.
Since the lockdown period I have discovered the power of the online sessions, which are slightly different, more into the fantasy than the hands-on sessions, but they are a great alternative for people who cannot come and see a Dominatrix in person!
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck from Barcelona, Spain
Lady Sas: What excites you about BDSM and training slaves?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: For Me, It’s a very mental thing.
Even after these many years of training slaves, What ticks My clock is Dominating the men into a subspace in which they let Me do things to them that they wouldn’t allow any other person to do to them.
The moment in which they give in, in which they stretch their soft-limits just to please Me, that is where I get My kicks.
Lady Sas: You’re a Dutch Dominatrix based in Barcelona. What’s the story behind this?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: I left My country after falling in love during a student exchange program in Valencia, Spain.
Back then the only BDSM I had seen in My young adult life in the Netherlands must have been on the television, and as usual back then, they weren’t profiled as hot, beautiful, sensual and exiting.
They were presented to endulge the vanilla public with the bizarre. So I hadn’t felt connected to it back then. I got in contact with the sexy part of it when I lived in Ibiza.
People now actually KNOW it exists and a lot of the people below 30 are experimenting with it. In the last 6 months 2 new BDSM clubs have opened in Barcelona city. So I would say it is still in the uprise here.
Nicole van Kuppeck
Lady Sas: You trained slaves in Zurich. When you compare these subs with the ones you train in Barcelona – where are the differences and where are the similarities?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: There are a lot of similarities of course, our bodies and brains are wired for BDSM. The differences are probably more socially influenced: 1 very big difference that I see at BDSM or fetish parties is that men in Spain make no effort to dress adequate. I know that this is a very general thing, that hetro-males usually have trouble to dress to the occasion, but it’s even more pronounced in the south of Europe.
The sessions themselves: In Spain BDSM “exists” for only… perhaps 30 years? Up until a decade ago many subs could not believe there would be no intercourse by a Dominatrix (Her receiving). And today still, often We have to keep an eye out, especially with the local visitors from a certain age up, that their hands don’t wonder off.
In Spanish there is a term for that, even in the vanilla world: “pulpo”.
Translated: Ocutopus, a very graphic way of indicating the hassle it is to keep their hands off your body CONSTANTLY. These kind of subs are not welcome back, though, and I make sure to let them know the why, so that they may improve their behaviour with the next Dominatrix.
Also, I have met more “service subs” (as in: people who find bliss in the mere act of serving) in the north of Europe than in the south.
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck about Femdom BDSM in Spain.
Lady Sas: How does society in Spain deal with Femdom? Is the society open for this?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: Good question!
I would say there is always a part of society that isn’t as open to non-hetro non-patriarchal ways of enjoying ourselves. Especially outside of the bigger cities there is little or no space for flaunting our different lifestyle. Therefor, the subs who live out there travel to the cities to quench their thirst.
Some people here mention that BDSM is less widespread because we don’t have long, dark, cold wintermonths in which people stay at home, put the heating on and try out “new stuff”. This might be true.
Wearing latex in Spanish summer is also a total no-go unless the airconditioner is on minus10 degrees!
Life in Barcelona is so much more relaxed than in the Nordic regions of Europe. The priorities lie on other aspects, for example, social life and food are seen as 2 of the most important things to spend your time and energy on.
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck
Lady Sas: After the hype of Shades of Grey, I thought the topic of BDSM had arrived in society and was becoming more and more popular. In the meantime, I’m not so sure anymore. What do you think about it? Is BDSM becoming more popular or is it on the wane?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: Here in Spain it has certainly helped BDSM to come out of the closet. People now actually KNOW it exists and a lot of the people below 30 are experimenting with it. In the last 6 months 2 new BDSM clubs have opened in Barcelona city.
So I would say it is still in the uprise here.
The Mistress about Life in Barcelona
Lady Sas: Do you speak Spanish? What is life like in Barcelona?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: I speak Spanish and Catalan, the local language that was prohibited during the regime of the Spanish dictator Franco. I love living here. Life in Barcelona is so much more relaxed than in the Nordic regions of Europe. The priorities lie on other aspects, for example, social life and food are seen as 2 of the most important things to spend your time and energy on. Visiting bars and restaurants with friends is done at least 3 times a week. Fun fact social code: you will never see a (local) grown-up walking and eating at the same time, not even an apple!
Lady Sas: Please tell us what you do in your free time?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: I love dancing in barefoot and alcohol free spaces like Ecstatic Dance. Also I hike often in the hills of this mediterranean region (and go for a hearty rural meal afterwards!)
And I take great joy in overall pampering Myself!
Lady Sas: What are your plans for the future?
Mistress Nicole van Kuppeck: I am working towards having a beautiful BDSM place out in the country, yet near to Barcelona. There I want to create a Femdom place for couples (and small groups) with a big, private garden so that people can also enjoy playing outside, in the sunlight. Maybe even with a nice outdoor pool!
Thank you very much for this interview, the questions were very entertaining and I love giving new perspectives on how things are!
Lady Sas: Thank you very much, Nicole.
Femdom Book Recommendations:
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